Don’t we all want to be successful? So, how do we define success? Isn’t it always striving to be more than what we are? Doesn’t that make us ungrateful for what we have?

When you’re in school, you can’t wait to get into medical college. Then you want to be an intern because internship seems like so much fun(and it is 😊), then you can’t wait to be a Junior resident because you think that their lives are set.

As a Junior resident, you realise that you’d rather be a Senior Resident with all the privileges attached to the post. And then, you can’t wait to get into private practice!

The story never ends!

I used to think that this was being ungrateful, and that we should be happy with what we have.

But, a recent discussion we had with a senior faculty member at my current work institution made me realise that when we do achieve ‘success’ we stop trying. So striving for success isn’t being ‘ungrateful’ or ‘too ambitious’ at all!

When I topped my MS ophthalmology university exams, I became complacent and stopped trying harder, for a while.

It gives you a sense of entitlement which is wrong.

Technology never stops evolving, and you’ll soon be left behind and overtaken if you decide to rest on your laurels.

When I was younger and I read that ‘Life is a race’ I always thought of it as a straight line from start to finish where you’re competing with other people to get to the finish line. But then Lily Tomlin says, that “The trouble with a rat race, is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

I didn’t want to be a rat, obviously. And this recent discussion opened my eyes. I now realise that the race isn’t a straight track.

It’s a marathon where every single player is YOU!

You have to define your end goal. Mine is only to keep getting better at what I do, and to be a better, kinder person.

The advantage of this goal, is that there is no definite end point. You can always be better.

You just pass on the baton to the new you, in your new role.

The ‘medical student Marushka’ passed it on to the intern, then the JR, followed by the SR and now the fellow.

I’m still in the race. And if any of these players had been a slacker, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

So I owe it to them to keep working hard and working well to reach our common goal.

It works a little differently for your personal life though. It is more difficult.

It isn’t a marathon. It’s more like an Index fund. Here I’m holding on to my roles of a daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law, and making sure that all roles are functioning well. I’ll have to make place for my role as a mother too, when that comes along, without neglecting any of these previous roles.

It’s important to remember to be true to yourself. To keep aiming to better yourself, but only with the old version of yourself as comparison. Your family and friends are like the marathon spectators. They can cheer you on and wish you well, but ultimately YOU have to keep running.

Make the most of your present. I’m glad that I enjoyed my time immensely as a medical student, intern, JR and SR, because I will never get that time or those roles back.

I strive to enjoy my fellowship too and learn everything I can, to be a good surgeon who can really make a difference to the eyes and lives of little children!

Do not dwell in the past or worry about the future. We can’t change either of those. Focus on living fully in the present and being the best possible version of yourself.

The rest will fall in place.